A dad of biracial kids has sparked furious outrage after revealing he got a paternity test behind his wife’s back because one of their children ‘doesn’t look half-white.’
The unnamed 29-year-old man took to Reddit to share that he didn’t believe his son was his because he was ‘noticeably darker’ than his 30-year-old black wife.
He explained that he couldn’t bond with his son because he didn’t look like him, causing him to have doubts and ultimately get a secret paternity test.
The anonymous father questioned if he was in the wrong in a thread titled, ‘Am I the A**hole?’ for getting a paternity test and hiding it from his wife.
A dad of biracial kids has sparked furious outrage after revealing he got a paternity test behind his wife’s back because one of their children ‘doesn’t look half-white’
The unnamed 29-year-old man took to Reddit to share that he didn’t believe his son was his because he was ‘noticeably darker’ than his 30-year-old black wife
The post read: I’m a 29-year-old white guy. My wife is 30 and black. We have two kids, a three-year-old girl, and a five-year-old boy.
‘My wife got pregnant with our son early in our relationship. We had only been together a year. We got married because she got pregnant. Fortunately for us, we are actually happy.
‘When my son was born I accepted him as mine. However, I couldn’t help noticing how little he looked like me.
‘He is noticeably darker than my wife. He doesn’t look half-white. My family and friends have asked if I’m sure he’s mine. I had doubts, but I initially decided to trust my wife. I loved my son regardless.’
Two years after their son was born, the couple welcomed a baby girl.
When their daughter was born, the man felt a strong connection to her because looked like him.
As soon as she was born, he had no doubts about her, however, it caused him to begin resenting his son.
He continued: ‘When our son was two, my wife had our daughter. I had no doubt she was mine.
He explained that he couldn’t bond with his son because he didn’t look like him, causing him to have doubts and ultimately get a secret paternity test (stock image)
‘She looks just like me, she even has my blue eyes. I never realized how powerful it is to know a child is yours.
‘I bonded with her easier because there wasn’t the question of paternity dangling over our heads.
‘My family bonded with her faster too. Her resemblance to me convinced me that my son is not mine.’
The man explained that he grew more frustrated because he convinced himself his wife ‘betrayed’ him, and he didn’t want to raise ‘someone else’s child.’
He said always tried to treat his son and daughter as ‘equals,’ however, could no longer carry on.
The man added: ‘I realized I was beginning to resent my son. It felt unfair that I had to care for someone else’s child. I also began to resent my wife because I felt she had betrayed me.’
He then decided to get a paternity test to settle his nerves. However, he decided against telling his wife.
After discovering his son was indeed his, his relationship with both his boy and wife improved.
‘I finally got a paternity test in secret. I was relieved to learn that my son is in fact mine. Genetics are weird.
‘Anyways, that was four months ago and my relationship with my wife and son improved dramatically. I feel much closer to him now that I know he’s mine. My wife and I have been so happy that we were talking about a third child.’
He then decided to get a paternity test to settle his nerves. However, he decided against telling his wife
And while he was happy, the guilt of keeping a secret from his wife began to eat at him. So, he decided to confess to her.
He said: ‘I confessed to my wife I got a paternity test. I hated keeping the secret and I thought she would understand given how much he doesn’t look like me. ‘
However, his wife had a completely opposite reaction and was filled with anger when she discovered what he had done behind her back.
‘She flipped out. She asked me if I ever doubted our daughter, and when I said no she called me racist. It’s not true. I didn’t prefer my daughter because of her whiter features, I just knew she was mine.
‘She also said that I made our son feel unloved for no reason for all those years. I said that’s bull. Even when I didn’t believe my son was mine, I treated him as though he were,’ he added.
The 29-year-old man revealed that his wife was now threatening to take the children and move out.
He continued: ‘It’s been about a week and a half and I’m still on the sofa. I hoped she would’ve calmed down by now but things haven’t changed.
‘She’s just so furious with me for not trusting her and for in her eyes, denying my son because he’s dark. She barely talks to me unless it’s about the kids. I don’t want to lose my family.’
However, his wife had a completely opposite reaction and was filled with anger when she discovered what he had done behind her back
At the end of his post, he questioned if he was an ‘a**hole’ for having ‘doubts’, adding that he didn’t understand why it was ‘wrecking his marriage’ and that his wife was ‘overreacting.’
People on the social media platform were furious at the father’s confession and slammed him for his behavior.
One person commented: ‘You’re the a**hole. She is absolutely not overreacting. You not only did not trust your wife, you let your ignorance get in the way of your bonding with your child.
‘I mean, what did you think was going to happen when you had biracial children? It’s not always a perfect mocha mixture of both parents.
‘You may get that, you may get a kid who is white as a vampire or as dark as Wesley Snipes. You really need to suck it up and beg for forgiveness and then you need to fix that ignorant way of thinking that you have.
‘Your son is going to need you. Being a black man in this world is not easy’
Someone else wrote: ‘He even says his family didn’t bond with him as much as his lighter daughter. Sounds like being racist lies in the family too. Poor kid deserves better.’
Another user added: ‘Those poor kids and that poor wife. What a nightmare to trust someone and marry them and have kids with them and then find out that they’re racist.
‘And that their family didn’t bond as well with the darker kid?? Urgh, my skin is crawling. I don’t know what the wife will end up deciding but if she chooses to stay with him, he’s gonna have to move worlds to prove himself to be a decent human and he’ll have to do more than that if his son grows up and finds out about all this.’
People on the social media platform were furious at the father’s confession and slammed him for his behavior
One person said: ‘I want to know why he was so sure the lighter kid was his when she could have just as easily been the product of an affair with another man, especially another white man.
‘Something tells me the OPs soon to be ex-wife won’t be dating white men again anytime soon though. ‘
‘No one bonded with him but he also totally treated his kids the same,’ he added.
Another user said: ‘Not only is he the a**hole, racist and selfish, he is stupid as well.
‘What exactly did he hope to accomplish by telling his wife he got a DNA test other than selfishly soothing his own guilt?
‘Anyone with several working brain cells would know that telling your wife you thought that she cheated on you and that you had suspected for some time your child was not yours because you’re a racist idiot would not go over well.’
Someone else said: ‘Those early years are so crucial in a child’s development, and OP openly admits to resenting this kid for years, then you add a light-skin daughter and this poor kid has to watch his dad interact with her more positively. It’s just so sad, I really feel bad for the son and the wife. ‘
‘You’re the a**hole. I promise you, your son noticed and internalized the way you treated him. Kids just know these things,’ one person added.
‘You married a black woman and for some reason got confused one of your children ended up black, please take a HS level biology course,’ someone else wrote.